Monday, October 5, 2009

for me to ponder outloud...

I was reading a post from a xanga blogger that I follow today. She is an amazing woman - a heart after God's; a wonderful mother to her 7 kids; wonderful wife, I'm sure; and the interesting thing is that I have never met her. She pours out her heart for the world to see on her blog, so I feel like I've gotten to know her. Her thoughts are so much more in depth than mine are and it continually amazes me that she can put into words things that I can't. Little does she know, she has more than once put into perspective some of my struggles and answered some of the same questions I have asked myself. God is just amazing. Anyway, here is just a part of a recent post she posted about life revolving around ME:

"...I can't tell you how much I see it, hear it out there - ya know, that everything is to be about me. How I feel. What I want. That I am in control. Life is about me. It should revolve around what I want and feel and think. This is America. This is our culture. This is what it is to be a woman. This is what we are told all over the place and a thousand times over - this is what will make us happy and fulfilled: life revolving around me.

Sadly, lots of churches aren't saying any differently. It's all about what christianity can do for ME - what can God do for ME - wealth, health and prosperity! God's wonderful plan for ME! Me, me, me. He wants ME to have all I could want. He wants ME to be happy and so if I'm not happy, well it must not be from God. . .

If we accept this ME centered "gospel" and false christianity, then I guess we must conclude that Job must not be meant to be in the Bible. Along with lots of other verses.

I remind my children, "Life's not about you. . ." Not in a mean kind of way, but a realistic type of way. But that doesn't mean a hill of beans to them if they see me living for myself - making them revolve around me - treating them as if they do live for me and spend their lives watching me manipulate or control or treat my husband like he is here for me too.

Living like the world revolves around me can look "christian" if done the "right" way. We can do good stuff, talk right, smile, go to church, have children, and all the rest of the list for: ourselves ~ For our own good, not for the good of others. For reputation. For a pat on the back. For praise and adoration from others.

How can I know if I am living out of the world's idea about life instead of God's?

-I don't have inward (or outward) peace when things don't go as I want.
-I can't get over hurt.
-I use people for my own agenda, reputation, or purposes.
-I manipulate (kindly or unkindly) for my own good.
-I get frustrated in relationships when someone doesn't act like I think they should.
-I feel sorry for myself.
-I deal with depression or discouragement on a daily basis.
-I want, and maybe even demand, that others live up to my standards and beliefs.
-I am discontent with what I have and don't have. Always want more.
-I compare myself to others.
-I can't be wrong, others are.
-I want things to happen in my time frame.
-I cut others down to lift myself up.
-I only surround myself with people who think like me.
-I shift blame.
-I do things with expectations of return from others.
-I give to get.
-I am "happiest" when everyone thinks well of me.
-I live by my feelings, not reality.
-I do "good" things with ME as the ultimate motive.
-I think my desires and dreams are what I should live for.
-I want the glory. The affirmation. The praise for what I do and my children do.
-I want my accomplishments to be known."

Ouch. So many of those items I can check off and say "guilty". And the sad thing about it is I don't realize how much it is all about me until after I've taken a step back and say - "wow, that was really selfish." And by then the damage is usually already done. How sad we live in a society today that teaches us that life revolves around ME...

On a lighter note, my dear sis turned 30 today! I called to tell her Happy Birthday this morning and my nephew answers the phone...

Me: did you know it's mommy's birthday today?
Him: *gasp* Holy cow! Why is her birthday today?
Me: because she was born on this day today.
Him: I'm going to tell her Happy Birthday right now...

And in the background I can hear him running up the steps, yelling "Mommy!" and this is what i hear:

"Happy Birthday! Did you know you were born on this day a long long time ago??"

Oh, the innocence of a 4 year old! :)


  1. Love it! I can just hear the little guy saying all that=) He is the best! Didn't know she was 30, gotta call her!

  2. Hey all that me goes along w/ Beth's study, she uses Isaiah 47:8,10 "I am, and there is non besides me." Wow, something to really take in! We really are all about us! We need to stop thinking like the Babylonians! Thanks for sharing!